72 SEO-chasing headlines to (mostly) laugh at today

1. Send in Your Stories About the World’s Worst Roommate
2. Here’s a Young Jon Stewart, Moshing at a Dead Kennedys Show (Update: Probably Not)
3. How Old Does Google Think You Are?
4. Yes, This Is a Picture of Terry Richardson Fucking (Someone Who Looks Like Juliette Lewis) [Update]
5. That’s Not Juliette Lewis Getting Boned by Terry Richardson, Juliette Lewis’s Publicist Says
6. Video: L.A. Cops Shoot a Guy Point-Blank Outside a Carl’s Jr.
7. This Is a Picture of Miley Cyrus Eating a Penis Cake
8. What if Posters for Oscar-Nominated Movies Told the Truth?
9. Here Is the Creepiest Thing You Will See All Year
10. The Drug That Hospitalized Demi Moore: Whip-Its
11. It Turns Out Seal Was Kind Of A Dick To Heidi Klum
12. Behold, the Most Obnoxious Christmas Letter Ever
13. The Harrowing Before-and-After Photos of Two Years in Solitary
14. A Hedge Fund Manager’s Bizarre, Lengthy Response to a Declined Second Date
15. Swimming in a Kiddie Pool of Vomit and Semen’: Life as a Dartmouth ‘Whale Shit’
16. Boyfriend to Gaga: ‘Be Normal’
17. I Can’t Stop Looking At This Weird Chinese Boat
18. All the Dirty Rumors About Demi Moore’s Wild Whip-It Partying and Hospitalization
19. Gawker Will Be Conducting An Experiment, Please Enjoy Your Free Cute Cats Singing And Sideboobs
20. The Beautiful Decay of a Theater Hidden Above a New York Bodega
21. I Can’t Stop Staring at Cyber Woman With Corn
22. These Two Awesome Videos Have Gone Viral, According To People Who Make Awesome Videos Go Viral
23. Which Rapper Shared Some Women with Another Celebrity in Sundance?
24. I Can’t Stop Looking at This Weird Chinese Goat
25. All the Absolutely Insane Things Former SNL Tea Party Lunatic Victoria Jackson Has to Say
26. Kevin Federline, Ex-Husband Of Britney Spears, Hospitalized Due To Chest Pains Caused By Fatness
27. The Most Adorable Cat Video You’ll See All Afternoon
28. Teen Calls Cops On Mom For Having Sex Too Loudly
29. Pat Sajak: I Was Drunk on Wheel of Fortune So Many Times
30. Courtney Sheber Is America’s Hottest College Girl: A Review
31. This Is What the Voice of the Honey Badger Video Looks Like
32. This Is the Profile I Use to Cruise for Sex
33. The 65 Hottest Pics Of Heidi Klum: A Review
34. Little Girl Slaps Mom with Piece of Pizza, Saves Life
35. Poor Reality Show Star’s Bathing Suit Top Becomes Unfastened, Top Of Nipple Partially Visible, Paper Says
36. A Hilarious Impersonation of Kim Richards Talking About the Oscars
37. Demi Moore’s Drug Problem: Adderall?
38. I Can’t Stop Looking At This Sexy Australian Photo Shoot
39. L.A. Quasi-Cop Who Made Uniformed Porno Wants His Job Back
40. Sex Punching Not for Everyone, Sex Writer Reports
41. Tim Gunn Needs To Shut Up About Not Having Sex in Almost 30 Years
42. Here Is the Best Video of Chinese Soldiers Playing ‘Hot Potato’ With a Live Grenade You Will Ever See
43. Idiot Cop Takes Photo of Teens, Guns, Bullet-Ridden Obama T-Shirt
44. Could Demi Moore’s Decade-Long Red Bull ‘Addiction’ Have Contributed to Her Collapse?
45. James O’Keefe Asked Me to Help Him Sue Liberal Media Outlets
46. Fox News Anchor and Son of NYPD Commissioner Accused of Rape
47. Crazed Butt Injector Brawls with Victims on Daytime TV
48. Tracy Morgan Collapses At Sundance Festival But Not Because Of Drugs, Alcohol Or Kevin Federline’s Fatness
49. Intrepid Blogger Determines Ice Cube’s ‘Good Day’: January 20, 1992
50. 50 Cent Will Tweet a Picture of His Penis if the Giants Lose the Super Bowl
51. Boy Sues School Newspaper for Illustrating STD Article with His Face
52. Mitt Romney Made $45 Million Over the Last Two Years Doing Literally Nothing at All
53. Colorado Teen Girl Recalls Train Accident: “I was watching my legs get crushed by coal cars.”
54. How Much Money Is NBC News Wasting In Our Office Right Now?
55. Armed Forces Return to DEFCON Five as Blow Job Movie Gets New Feminist Icon
56. Brian Williams Talked as Much as Ron Paul at Last Night’s Debate
57. Joseph Gordon-Levitt Sure Looks Cute Playing ‘Hey Jude’ at Sundance
58. The Paranoid Conspiracy Theory of a T.A. Who Says Yale Is a ‘Freemason’ ‘Sea-Monster’
59. Third Hangover Movie Imminent
60. Hero Rhodes-Declining Yale QB Withdrew Over Sex Assault Claims, Not Harvard Game
61. Watch the Vile Muslim-Hating Film the NYPD Used to Train Its Officers
62. Is This Baby Aardvark Cute, Or Is It a Hideous Mole Monster?
63. The Top Nine Videos Of Babies Farting And/Or Laughing With Kittens
64. Company That Owns Costa Concordia Offers Customers 30 Percent Off Their Next Non-Sinking Cruise
65. Click Here to See Rick Santorum’s Cock Shot
66. An Article About Literacy Is the Worst Place to Misspell ‘Literate’ (Updated)
67. Penguin Shits on Senate Floor
68. Bizarre Slave-Ship Spot Is an Early Contender for Best/Worst Campaign Ad of 2012
69. Prepare To Get Starbombed On Starbooze: Some Starbucks Locations Will Begin Selling Wine And Beer
70. Mitt Romney Music Video Has Gone Viral, Too
71. Julian Assange’s Transformation Into a Fameball Is Now Complete
72. If Joe Paterno Is Your Enemy, Fred Phelps Still Can’t Be Your Friend